Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
