She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
