Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
