why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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