My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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