just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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