What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
