Will you blow on my dice?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize