Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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