Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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