Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
