He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
