some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The best revenge is premature balding
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
