a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize