Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
