9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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