My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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