Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
