Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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