It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
