Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
