I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
