I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
