I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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