She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
