I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
