What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
