Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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