She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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