So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
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Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
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Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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