what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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