I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
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Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
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I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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