ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
