I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
