he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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