I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
