Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
