Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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