There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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