the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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