At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize