We're facebook friends in real life
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
