thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
