Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
