You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize