I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Even my vagina gasped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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