After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
