I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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