You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
