Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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