Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
