A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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