his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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