ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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