Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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