just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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