Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
