2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We had sex on a dog bed..
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm like, not good at living.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
