SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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