i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
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He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
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You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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