I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize