dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
