THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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