I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm at about main and main street
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
