Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
wakey wakey hands off snakey
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
