I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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