don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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