Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
