She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Bring me that man meat
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
