You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
