I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
