its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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