He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
